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The Bottom Line (ficlet; Saiyuki)

Title: The Bottom Line
Author: opalmatrix
Warnings: Swear words, m/m groping, and smutty suggestions
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Hakkai/Gojyo
Spoilers: Absolutely none
Notes: smillaraaq and I were discussing shopping scenes in fic and fiction, and the idea that although Hakkai would enjoy dressing Gojyo well, he's actually probably pretty tight with a budget. And that grew into this. Beta by smillaraaq.
Summary: Gojyo needs some new jeans. Hakkai's going to make sure they get their money's worth.

It was the best menswear store in town. It had actual dressing rooms, with mirrors on the walls and latches on the doors and shit like that, and it had, like, 30 brands of jeans. After they had been there an hour and a half, Gojyo was positive it had to be at least that many, because of course, Hakkai had insisted on looking at every single brand. And now, Gojyo was getting really, really tired of trying on jeans, and really hot and sweaty, too, even though Hakkai had had him take off his shirt. They could've been home ages ago. Gojyo struck a pose in the last pair from the stack - it was either pair #9 or pair #10 ... he'd lost track. "Ta daah!" he said.

Hakkai, who'd been sitting primly on the fancy little chair in the corner, cocked his head to one side and looked the jeans and Gojyo up and down. "Hmm. Not bad. But I'd like to see you in the Botan brand again."

Gojyo groaned. "Hakkai. I have tried on every single one of these damn things. Why can't you just pick some out and buy 'em?"

Hakkai looked shocked. "Gojyo. This is your hard-won cash we're spending here. I have to make sure that I'm making the very best use of it. We don't have all that much to spare, after all."

Gojyo couldn't think of any really good answer to that - Hakkai always argued dirty - so he swallowed another groan and turned around again, shucking off the current pair of jeans. And his boxers came half off again, like they had at least five times already, leaving one butt cheek entirely bare. Shit, not again. He bent over to finish pulling the jeans off - and got an upside-down look at Hakkai's reflection in the mirror. Hakkai was gazing at his half-bare ass with shining eyes, his lips parted, a bright spot of color over each cheekbone.

He noticed Gojyo looking at him almost at once, of course. For a guy with one eye, he didn't miss much. He blinked and smiled sweetly, then licked his lips. "Do you need a hand there, Gojyo?" he said, kindly. And then smack! - a nice warm hand landed right on his bare ass-cheek and squeezed. Suddenly, Gojyo's wish to be at home got a lot more specific: at home, and naked, with Hakkai, in bed. With the door locked. He leaned his hot forehead against the cool glass of the mirror. "Damn, Hakkai, that ain't gonna help me get any more of these jeans zipped up," he mumbled.

Hakkai laughed softly and slid off the chair to kneel behind him, pressing his lips against the base of Gojyo's spine. "I imagine I can give you a hand with that problem too," he said.




( 29 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 22nd, 2008 12:47 pm (UTC)
*melts* Something about Hakkai placing his hands possessively on Gojyo's bum got me all hot and bothered! Excellent work, and going straight into my memories! X3
Jul. 24th, 2008 11:39 am (UTC)

Hee! No one messes with his Gojyo - except Hakkai himself. I'm glad this worked for you!

(Deleted comment)
Jul. 22nd, 2008 06:08 pm (UTC)
omg, your icon. o__0 Where'd you get that from? I think I died laughing XD

To the OP: wonderful work! Funny and smexy and the dynamic between them is oh-so-right. =)
(no subject) - opalmatrix - Jul. 24th, 2008 11:42 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - opalmatrix - Jul. 24th, 2008 11:40 am (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 22nd, 2008 01:26 pm (UTC)
Nice descriptions! I totally feel for Gojyo. I hate trying on clothes. Loved it when he said "Ta da!" don't know why I found that funny.

Everyone's in character, and it's always fun to see the boys do everyday things.

Thank you for posting this!
Jul. 24th, 2008 11:45 am (UTC)

I hate doing that too! Of course, if I had Hakkai to take me shopping ...   ;-)

The great thing about Hakkai and Gojyo is they make the everyday stuff sexy - that's one of the things I love about them. Thank you for reading!

Jul. 22nd, 2008 01:41 pm (UTC)
Hehe. :D

Could it be that Hakkai has ulterior motives? Nahhhhh.

My favorite part in there was Hakkai making Gojyo take off his shirt. Because Gojyo is too hot. (Of course you are, dear.)
Jul. 24th, 2008 11:51 am (UTC)

>> Of course you are, dear. <<

Ah ha ha! That line killed me ... I'm a sucker for that kind of crack. Yes, Hakkai was having a primo free show there, Gojyo alternately almost stripped down and then in tight fashion jeans. Gojyo is so simple in comparison - for all his love of the carnal pleasures, he's almost innocent when it comes to manipulation.

I'm so happy you liked it!

(Deleted comment)
Jul. 24th, 2008 11:53 am (UTC)

Hee, now that Hakkai knows what he wants, he's having ooddles of fun thinking up different ways to get it! Manuevering Gojyo into just the right position and frame of mind has got to be one of his favorites. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

(Deleted comment)
Jul. 24th, 2008 11:55 am (UTC)

I can really sympathize with Gojyo's entire situation in this ... Hakkai is such a kinky bastard, I'm sure he's taking mental notes on all the most interesting erogenous spots. I'm glad you had fun here!

Jul. 22nd, 2008 03:19 pm (UTC)
Hee...that was great!
I feel for poor Gojyo - trying on pair after pair of jeans...yuck. But I'm sure Hakkai made it all worth while.
Jul. 24th, 2008 11:57 am (UTC)

Thanks! Yeah, I hate trying on clothes too - that made this so easy to write! But Hakkai is determined to get his money's worth one way or the other ... I'm certain he made sure Gojyo did too!

Jul. 22nd, 2008 04:48 pm (UTC)
Mmmmmm... nice!

I love when Hakkai takes control. He's so good at it...!
Jul. 24th, 2008 11:59 am (UTC)

Ahhh, yes, Gojyo needs a lot of guidance, you know! And Hakkai's just the man for the job ... . I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Jul. 22nd, 2008 10:05 pm (UTC)
Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.... I loved this. Only it ended far too soon. So, what happens next? *tries to look innocent* I think you should write more of this. It deserves to be longer.
Jul. 24th, 2008 12:03 pm (UTC)

Heh ... I know, I know, I owe everyone some pr0n. I'm not so self-confident about that as I am about innnuendo. But I don't think expanding this would work so well: it's all set up for the crash - ba-da-boom, bad-da-bing! of the moment when Gojyo - and the reader - figure out what Hakkai is really up to, and then Gojyo's and Hakkai's wise-ass remarks about the changed situation. I'd have to start over again.

But I'm glad you liked what there is of it!

Jul. 23rd, 2008 12:29 pm (UTC)
And his boxers came half off again, like they had at least five times already, leaving one butt cheek entirely bare.

Which, I think, explains Hakkai's ulterior motive for having the man try on 20 pairs. Yeah, the "let's spend your money wisely" makes a good cover story. But WE know the truth!
Jul. 24th, 2008 12:04 pm (UTC)

I'm sure Hakkai is constantly thinking of sensible reasons to get Gojyo just where he wants him! I' glad you had fun with this!

Jul. 23rd, 2008 03:53 pm (UTC)
Jul. 24th, 2008 12:04 pm (UTC)

Hee! Thanks!

Jul. 27th, 2008 02:53 pm (UTC)
Oh hell Hakkai, you know how to make a girl (or a Kappa) totally hot don't you? And I will bet that he's the one that will be topping, too, once they get home!
Aug. 4th, 2008 11:37 am (UTC)
The Bottom Line (ficlet; Saiyuki)

He's definitely the one driving this train! I'm glad you enjoyed this!

Jul. 29th, 2008 03:33 am (UTC)
this was just fun
Aug. 4th, 2008 11:38 am (UTC)
The Bottom Line (ficlet; Saiyuki)

Awww, thanks! I'm glad you like it!

Aug. 3rd, 2008 05:16 am (UTC)
This is hilarious! I totally loved it. Snarky comments and romance, my favorite.

Aug. 4th, 2008 11:39 am (UTC)

I'm so glad it worked for you! Hakkai has a way of making almost any activity smutty.

Nov. 26th, 2009 03:48 am (UTC)
Awww, I love naughty Hakkai!^^
Nov. 30th, 2009 03:20 am (UTC)

Hee, he really does like pushing Gojyo to the edge that way!

You might like Flesh of My Flesh for that, too, although it definitely has more angst, in addition to sneaky/naughty Hakkai.

( 29 comments — Leave a comment )


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