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Somewhere Between (fic; Saiyuki)

Title: Somewhere Between
Author: opalmatrix
Warnings: Gojyo's mouth, mild m/m
Pairing(s): 585
Spoilers: Events in Reload volumes 7 and 8
Notes: written for lady-ganesh, who likes to hear Gojyo talk. Happy birthday! (Unbeta'ed, I am afraid ... .)
Summary: The night before the ikkou are reunited with Sanzo, Hakkai has a lot on his mind. So, surprisingly, does Gojyo.

We stand between the day that was, and the day that will be, Hakkai thought, as he stirred the embers of their supper fire. The desert was only a mile or so behind them, but they were not yet truly in the hills. It was twilight, with the faintest hint of sunset still tainting the perfect blue-on-blue of the sky. And soon - perhaps, if their informants had not steered them wrong - they would be reunited with Sanzo.

"Goku's asleep. Out like a light." Gojyo dropped onto the ground by Hakkai's side, folding his long legs to sit cross-legged with his knee nearly touching his friend's. Hakkai looked up and smiled at him.

"That's probably for the best. He's had a rough time of it."

"Oh, yeah. No kiddin'." Gojyo stretched lazily - and quite deliberately, so that the red firelight ran over the tendons in his long neck, his muscular arms, and his flowing red hair.

Hakkai watched admiringly for a few seconds and then turned back to the fire. He was far from immune to Gojyo's charms, but he wasn't ready to give up his thoughts quite so soon. After a moment, Gojyo sighed and started rummaging through his pockets for his cigarettes. "You're thinkin' again."

"Well, yes."

The cigarettes turned up. Gojyo tapped the packet and drew one out. Hakkai could already smell the tobacco.

"The thing is ... I've been doin' some of that myself."

Hakkai looked at him more closely. The crimson eyes were focused on the cigarette. Gojyo was utterly serious. Hakkai made an encouraging noise and raised his eyebrows. Gojyo gave him a quick, almost shy glance and pulled out his lighter.

"Yeah ... y' know, when we were in that little shack, and you were all banged up and had that busted leg, and Goku was out cold for three days, and there was only me and the flyin' rat to take care of you guys, and no money, and hardly any food ... I thought, 'Even if that shitty priest shows up, I am never gonna speak to him again. Not one fuckin' word.'"

Gojyo flicked the lighter. The little flame showed his face clearly for a moment: he was smiling, but his eyes were still serious. He lit his smoke and drew on it for a couple of seconds. "Just like I was 11 instead of 22, right?"

"I think we all felt that way - even Goku."

"And that's exactly what got me so pissed off. The kid! Sanzo was his whole damn world! And Sanzo just left him ... ."

"I'm sure he thought Goku was dead."

"Maybe ... well, so then all that other stuff happened. And ... ."

"And - ?"

Gojyo smoked for a moment in silence, his eyebrows drawn together in a rare expression of concentration. "Goku - I mean, part of me really knows he's growin' up, right? This whole trip, he's been learning stuff. But what happened just this last week ... that girl. You know? It wouldn't have happened with Sanzo there. And it was a shitty thing for anyone to have to go through. But ... damn. This is the kinda shit that makes me get pissed off at Heaven. People shouldn't have to be hurt that way ... but he's really - there's more of him now. Damn, Hakkai. I don't know how to talk about this stuff."

Hakkai felt a rush of affection. At times like this, Gojyo warmed him like a flame. "I don't know why you say such things about yourself. You're being perfectly clear. Yes, it made him grow up a lot, very suddenly, and he's taking it very well. It's impressive. And it does make one think about the gods setting up trials for people to endure, so that they exceed their limitations."

Gojyo was examining his cigarette again, but he was smiling. "Heh. Yeah."

"So have you changed your mind about Sanzo?"

"Well ... his goddamned Holiness. He really gets up my nose sometimes. But he mostly has reasons why he does stuff."

"I can remember when you weren't so sure about his sanity, Gojyo."

"After that sick little fuck Kami-sama took his sutra, you mean? He was real messed up in the head then. But Goku set him straight."

"He set us all straight."

"Yeah ... well. But you know, Sanzo's been changin' too. I think he sort of really sees other people more, now. Not that he's ever gonna be, you know, nice."

"I guess we've all been growing up, along with Goku."

"Heh. You're probably right. Anyway, I guess there was some reason he went with that mush-mouthed pansy-ass Hazel."

"Gojyo ... during that fight with - with the Seitan Taisei: did I hear Hazel call to me? When I -?"

Gojyo looked at him and then looked away, stubbing his cigarette out in the dirt near the fire. "Yeah, you did. He was even polite: called you 'Mr. Spectacles.' I woulda been impressed, if I hadn't been a little busy just then. Hey, wow -"


"I guess Hazel-han's been grown' up too."

Gojyo was smiling at him sideways, pleased with himself. Hakkai smiled back and then sighed.

"What's up?"

"I don't know if I'm quite ready to speak to Sanzo, myself. I'm still betwixt and between about it. You're better at forgiving than I am."

"I bet you'll do it, though."

"Yes ... we have a job to do together, after all."

"Yeah. And he needs us, Hakkai. Damn sure he ain't gonna make it West with just those two, no matter how badass Gat is."

He was getting out another cigarette. Hakkai reached out and stopped him. Gojyo looked at him quizzically. "Whassup?"

"What would I do without you?"


"He does need us. So it would be unworthy of me to hold a grudge."

"You would of figured that out yourself, Hakkai."

"I'm not so sure about that. I would have let it fester, I'm afraid." He pulled Gojyo toward him. Gojyo hastily tucked the cigarette packet and lighter away and put both hands on Hakkai's shoulders, bending his head so that they were nose to nose.

"Does this mean you're finished thinkin'?"

"Oh, yes."

"Good. 'Cause I got some other ideas I wanna talk to you about ."

The last embers of the fire showed Gojyo's eyes as wicked, loving, and very hot. Hakkai smiled.

"Please, tell me more."



( 28 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 4th, 2009 12:02 pm (UTC)
This is brilliant. I could see Hakkai & Gojyo having this conversation & sorting out their thoughts on Sanzo.

Thanks for posting. :)
Jun. 10th, 2009 02:28 am (UTC)
"Somewhere Between"

I'm so glad you liked it! Thanks for reading!

Jun. 4th, 2009 12:27 pm (UTC)
<3 <3 sometimes that's all a story needs to say. *hugs!*
Jun. 10th, 2009 03:13 am (UTC)
"Somewhere Between"

I just like these guys talking together! I'm glad you enjoyed it too.

(Deleted comment)
Jun. 10th, 2009 03:14 am (UTC)
"Somewhere Between"

LOL - Gojyo can't stay philosophical for long! (Yes, you should read "Reload"! For one thing, it contains the "Burial Arc," which is kind of crucial to everyone's background, as well as a helluva good read.)

(Deleted comment)
Jun. 10th, 2009 03:18 am (UTC)
"Somewhere Between"

I really like writing both of these guys - they're weirdly like aspects of myself at this point.

I have a feeling that if any resolution does take place in the manga, it will be brief and mostly wordless, rather like the scene after Goku fights Kougaiji to save Sanzo in the desert ... you remember, where Sanzo comes out and Goku is just hunched up, cringing, waiting to be admonished for taking off his limiter, and Sanzo finally reaches out and tousles his hair - and then whacks him with the <>harisen</i>.

Jun. 4th, 2009 03:37 pm (UTC)
This is really just lovely. I think you've captured the interplay of their relationship very well in the dialogue, and the ending was wonderfully sweet.

Thanks for sharing!
Jun. 10th, 2009 03:28 am (UTC)

Aww, thank you! I just like writing them talking - I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Jun. 4th, 2009 03:55 pm (UTC)
Somewhere between
This is really good.I could actually see these two having thi conversation.Just maybe not the yaoi,(NO PUN INTENDED)Hakkai seems a little tight assed for that and I've always seen Gojyo as a ladies man(oooolala Gojyo).
Jun. 10th, 2009 03:38 am (UTC)
Re: Somewhere between

I'm really glad you liked the story!

I will not argue their orientations with you ... but what kind of a tight-ass sleeps with his sister?


Jun. 4th, 2009 09:46 pm (UTC)
Thank goodness for Gojyo's straight-from-the-heart logic! I love their interactions in this, and the shift in perspectives, as well as the metaphorical side, which I think was spot on. Great job! ^___^b
Jun. 10th, 2009 11:58 am (UTC)

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!

Jun. 4th, 2009 10:49 pm (UTC)
This was very nice. Very elegant and straight-forward and just.....honest.
Jun. 10th, 2009 12:00 pm (UTC)

Aww, thanks! It's very easy for me to slide off into very elaborate writerly writing, but writing Gojyo helps with that a lot.

Jun. 5th, 2009 03:44 am (UTC)
Oh, this was really heartwarming. What a great conversation, putting a series of really awful events into perspective. Lovely.

I also loved this line in particular--I think he sort of really sees other people more, now. Not that he's ever gonna be, you know, nice. Oh, Gojyo. Straight to the heart of the matter, with humor, always. *happy fangirl*
Jun. 11th, 2009 02:03 am (UTC)
"Somewhere Between"


I'm sure that Gojyo actually worries about Sanzo sometimes. But with his being Gojyo, and Sanzo's being Sanzo, he's never going to admit it!

Jun. 5th, 2009 05:08 am (UTC)
Aww! I loved every moment of this! I love this time period, and you've written it so well. Gojyo's insecurities about himself and the others, the blind rage he felt for Sanzo, and even Gojyo's thoughts about Hazel - spot on!

This was hilarious:
"He really gets up my nose sometimes." LOL, oh Gojyo!
Jun. 11th, 2009 02:07 am (UTC)
"Somewhere Between"

I'm so glad this worked for you!

It's interesting to think about their dynamic as a trio vs. what happened when Gojyo walked off in the Kami-sama arc. They're all walking wounded during the Oasis arc, but at least they're walking. When Gojyo left, the other three were going in circles ... .

Jun. 5th, 2009 06:00 am (UTC)
Oh, lovely. Thank you so much! ♥
Jun. 11th, 2009 02:09 am (UTC)
"Somewhere Between"

You're entirely welcome! <3

Jun. 5th, 2009 08:58 am (UTC)
Oh this is beautiful... It made me smile and get all warm inside. It's true, they've all been growing up, they just didn't really notice...
Jun. 11th, 2009 02:11 am (UTC)
"Somewhere Between"

They have certainly been growing! I think Sanzo may have some thoughts on the matter, but he's not likely to share them with anyone... .

Jun. 5th, 2009 01:16 pm (UTC)
Well i'm still reading the first set of saiyuki but sanzo really did leave goku and the others for hazel and gat? what in the world was he thinking about?

But this is a beautifully written story.
Jun. 11th, 2009 02:14 am (UTC)
"Somewhere Between"

Aww, thanks!

About how they got split up: it's complicated. As Hakkai says, Sanzo may have thought Goku was dead (he was certainly very badly injured, so much so that Hakkai and Gojyo had to take some rather drastic action to save his life), and he had some suspicions about who was responsible, and maybe he also had some intuition that Hazel was somehow connected. I don't want to spoil it any further - it's all very dramatic.

Jun. 6th, 2009 04:39 pm (UTC)
Lovely and insightful.
Jun. 11th, 2009 02:26 am (UTC)
"Somewhere Between"

I'm so glad you liked it! Gojyo knows a lot about how people work - he's just not so good at expressing it. And he learned it all the hard way, too.

Jun. 6th, 2009 09:37 pm (UTC)
That was truly lovely :D
Jun. 11th, 2009 02:26 am (UTC)

I'm so glad you liked it!

( 28 comments — Leave a comment )


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